Do you ever feel like you have been living in a fog? For the last few years, I have felt that way. It has been a nice feeling the last couple of months as I feel like that fog is lifting. I look back and it really is foggy. I don't think it was just one thing that created this fog. I had so many doctor appointments, I was so tired from not sleeping during the night, but being up all day with kids. Then I found ourselves swamped with Medical Bills and the last few years financial difficulties.
That when I was home, I would just sit on the couch and not be able to function.
I now find myself with more energy each day and the fog lifting each day. I have learned to not expect so much from myself. You must wonder, what the heck, that's so degrading on yourself. What I mean is that I used to create huge "to-do" lists for each day. When you live in a fog, it's like you can't function and your brain shuts down. As the fog lifts you have to take it slowly or you will find yourself going back into that fog. So if you find yourself coming out of a fog, do it gradually. Assign yourself only one major task a day. For me, I have only been able to surface clean. I just can't do more than that on a given day. So each day my goal is to take one area of my house and clean it better, if I feel in the mood to do more, I will, but I'm not obligated to do it that day. By giving myself that out, I find I have the energy to do more. But I am slowly working myself into getting everything done in one day that I used to.
I have also learned how to tell when I've hit my limit of the day. I know I have to keep myself going until 9:30 pm each day. I have learned to not over do myself or I will find myself back on the couch staring at nothing again. When I feel myself hitting that "limit", I know it's time to back off and find something less stressful to do, by doing this I can keep my self in check until the day is over. Sometimes, I can sit and play the piano for 20-40 min. This helps to distress myself enough to enjoy my kids and my life.
I am working to set more long term goals that are more simple. My spiritual goal this year is to read along with the Sunday School Lessons, this will help me achieve reading the Book of Mormon by the end this year. My physical goal is to exercise for 20 min. each day. By doing this, I hope to gain my strength back, I have not been able to do so many things. My body really has been stressed, and by doing something each day, I hope to increase my physical stamina. This should also help me feel better. For my happiness, I am working to find one something that I'm grateful for. To help me find the positive in life around me. There are so many good wonderful things, and I aim to find them!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
Sisters
This is me and My Sister.
During a summer visit (I was living in Florida at the time) that we made to Utah, Martha and I found ourselves constantly wearing the same colors. It was hilarious and family thought it planned in a warped kinda way. We loved as our nieces and nephews would have to look at our faces and talk to us before they could tell the difference between us. At one point, my siblings w/spouses had attended the LDS Temple in Ogden. We were getting ready to leave and Martha decided to go out to the foyer and wait while I stayed behind with my Mom while she waited for my Grandmother to do a potty break. A cute little older lady came up to me and told me she thought it was so cute when adult twins dressed alike. I had to think for a minute before I realized that Martha and I had come dressed in similar colors (again). I proceeded to correct her informing her that there was in fact 6 years difference between myself and my sister. She was so shocked, she said, "you mean your sister is 6 years older than you?". Least to say it made my day as I had just turned 30 about 4 months prior to this time! My sister had a great laugh also!
During the summer of 2010, our family had a reunion. Martha had just had her baby a couple of months earlier...the cutest thing ever! I loved helping with this sweet bundle as he would look at me and then look at his mom and then look at me, he couldn't figure it out! But Martha (and I) loved this for as long as he could see me, he would cuddle right up and go to sleep! Martha loved the break from the pre-sleep fussiness and I enjoyed cuddling a baby that I knew I could give back to his mommy when I was done and go have myself a full nights sleep!
She has also been a great help with my own kids, as they have looked to her as a second mother. They love talking and chatting to her as often as they can, which really isn't often enough for them. She has a wonderful open communication with my kids and I'm love having a wonderful support system for them in the way of my sister.
I have always loved my younger sister. I worked hard to be her friend while we were growing up, hard to do with 6 years difference. And once she realized that I had trials too, we became each others strengths. She has been a great support to me especially in the last 5 years. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father sent her to me. She will call me on days that I didn't realize I needed to talk and the same the other way around. It is wonderful to know that on the other side of the phone is someone who will listen, and care about what is happening in my life. She sends me email notes of encouragement when I'm down (sometimes without even knowing it).
One of those times was during the summer of 2009. I was struggling with my health, and lack of sleep and abundant struggles of the prior two years. I knew that John was going to not have a job by the end of the summer definitely Christmas, thus ending our financial funds. We looked at our options, but I felt that I needed to see my out of state siblings (one of which was Martha). So knowing that for some it would seem a "waste" of a months income, I worked a vacation out with my parents and we left for 3 weeks to see these two siblings. I actually hesitated to put this particular picture in as I was definitely at my heaviest (and I was/am completely embarrassed about it). But the hug that I received did more for my health than anything else I could have done...no it did not cure me, but when a person is down, it really helps to know that you are Loved!
Martha, I just wanted you to know how much I love you and think of you! You are truly my Best Friend!
During a summer visit (I was living in Florida at the time) that we made to Utah, Martha and I found ourselves constantly wearing the same colors. It was hilarious and family thought it planned in a warped kinda way. We loved as our nieces and nephews would have to look at our faces and talk to us before they could tell the difference between us. At one point, my siblings w/spouses had attended the LDS Temple in Ogden. We were getting ready to leave and Martha decided to go out to the foyer and wait while I stayed behind with my Mom while she waited for my Grandmother to do a potty break. A cute little older lady came up to me and told me she thought it was so cute when adult twins dressed alike. I had to think for a minute before I realized that Martha and I had come dressed in similar colors (again). I proceeded to correct her informing her that there was in fact 6 years difference between myself and my sister. She was so shocked, she said, "you mean your sister is 6 years older than you?". Least to say it made my day as I had just turned 30 about 4 months prior to this time! My sister had a great laugh also!During the summer of 2010, our family had a reunion. Martha had just had her baby a couple of months earlier...the cutest thing ever! I loved helping with this sweet bundle as he would look at me and then look at his mom and then look at me, he couldn't figure it out! But Martha (and I) loved this for as long as he could see me, he would cuddle right up and go to sleep! Martha loved the break from the pre-sleep fussiness and I enjoyed cuddling a baby that I knew I could give back to his mommy when I was done and go have myself a full nights sleep!
She has also been a great help with my own kids, as they have looked to her as a second mother. They love talking and chatting to her as often as they can, which really isn't often enough for them. She has a wonderful open communication with my kids and I'm love having a wonderful support system for them in the way of my sister.
I have always loved my younger sister. I worked hard to be her friend while we were growing up, hard to do with 6 years difference. And once she realized that I had trials too, we became each others strengths. She has been a great support to me especially in the last 5 years. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father sent her to me. She will call me on days that I didn't realize I needed to talk and the same the other way around. It is wonderful to know that on the other side of the phone is someone who will listen, and care about what is happening in my life. She sends me email notes of encouragement when I'm down (sometimes without even knowing it).
One of those times was during the summer of 2009. I was struggling with my health, and lack of sleep and abundant struggles of the prior two years. I knew that John was going to not have a job by the end of the summer definitely Christmas, thus ending our financial funds. We looked at our options, but I felt that I needed to see my out of state siblings (one of which was Martha). So knowing that for some it would seem a "waste" of a months income, I worked a vacation out with my parents and we left for 3 weeks to see these two siblings. I actually hesitated to put this particular picture in as I was definitely at my heaviest (and I was/am completely embarrassed about it). But the hug that I received did more for my health than anything else I could have done...no it did not cure me, but when a person is down, it really helps to know that you are Loved!
Martha, I just wanted you to know how much I love you and think of you! You are truly my Best Friend!
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